I wish...
1. ...that the custodians in the dorms stop cleaning the bathrooms during the PRIME shower-taking hour of 9am
2. ...that the construction be finished NOW
3. ...that the '# of days without a construction accident' sign that has read "69 days" never be taken down or changed
4. ...that the unpopular, and possibly radioactive "VG's" burn to the ground, allowing for students to never call that dreadful eating place "the vag" again
5. ...that the library get freaking air conditioning
6. ...that people stop raping other people on campus, so the poor newly-elected president won't have to write another e-mail about it
7. ...that the English department get teachers that know how to speak English properly
8. ...that the health center hire more radiologists so certain students don't have to wait 4 hours to get an x-ray of a wrist that was hit by a frisbee on the beach
9. ...that the new radiologists they hire can spell the word "frisbee" correctly
10. ...that tuition be lowered instead of increasing it by 32%!!!
11. ...that bikers on campus look twice before they speed 40mph on a packed pedestrian sidewalk that is 1.5 ft. wide.
12. ...that Netflix make all of their movies streaming, so poor college kids can procrastinate EVEN MORE
13. ...that the campus buildings get some sort of distinctive numbering pattern
14. ...that 'Musty the Mustang' get a little looser-fitting shorts
15. ...that the guy to girl ratio stay the same, always
16. ...that the "odds are good for girls on campus, but the goods are odd" statement be instated in the Cal Poly handbook, because it's funny
17. ...that the Cal Poly freshmen boys buck up for next year and ask a girl out, because you're cute, but don't know it--and that is attractive
18. ...that the Starbucks on campus be open 24/7!!!!
19. ...that the pigs on campus be let loose every last Thursday of the month, just to keep us students on our toes
20. ...that no one ever refer to me as "Cal Molly" ever again
21. ...that the awesome/brilliant people I have met stay with me for the rest of my life
22. ...that my life be extremely short
JUST KIDDING
I love Cal Poly, and my year here has been magical. I have definitely had amazing times: going to farmers market, Week of Welcome, picking up the "hella tight" California lingo, beaching it up, watching bands perform in the U.U., late night talks with friends, late night parties with friends, and most of all FRO YO. At the same time, I have had some hard times: missing my family, being deathly ill for 1/2 of winter quarter, awkward encounters with people I'm now trying to avoid forever, and most of all, pulling all nighters to finish a paper, or study for a midterm. I will always remember my first year here as a wonderful, meaningful experience. It was worth every penny.
-Dame Shirley
